From the BlogSubscribe Now

Last updated by at .

Managing Solo Travel Fears

Calming Solo Travel Fears

For people like me, who’re a little shy, solo travel can be unnerving. I’ve been traveling for nearly all my life but hadn’t, until about two years ago, traveled on my own.

I was on a three-week mercy mission in London and decided, at the last minute, to treat myself to a short vacation in Paris before I flew home. Thinking about it now, I must have been out of my mind to pick Paris, the city of love, for my first solo travel experience. However, it turned out to be the perfect place to wet my feet in solo travel.

But I wasn’t thinking about that as I boarded the Eurostar that Thursday morning. Doubts dampened the excitement I felt and tugged at the edge of my mind like insistent children, waiting for reassurance. And as the train moved away from London’s St. Pancras Station, old fears tightened like a band around my stomach. The more I tried to ignore them, the more they clutched until finally, I decided to look each one straight in the eye.

Getting lost: Getting lost was a fear I hoped Paris would help me conquer. I’ve gotten lost so many times, my friends generously describe me as ‘directionally challenged.’ My most embarrassing experience was missing my exit and getting lost five minutes from home. It took more than 20 frustrating minutes to find my way. The worst part was, I could see the top of our apartment building almost the entire time I was driving around.

Eating alone: Having people, especially family and friends, at the table can turn a meal into a celebration of life and love. I was terrified just thinking about having a meal in a restaurant by myself. My fear was heightened because I knew no one in Paris who I could call to rescue me.

Sleeping alone in an unfamiliar environment: This was, by far, my biggest fear. I don’t rest well when I’m in a new environment, and my anxieties increase when I’m alone. Looking this squarely in the eye as the train took me closer to Paris did little to calm my nerves. But I was determined not to let this fear paralyze me.

Even though, intellectually, I felt that I had dealt with the fears that plagued me, I was still feeling a bit unsure. When the train came to a stop at Paris’ Gare du Nord, I took a deep breath, drawing on my inner reserves for the courage I knew I lacked.

As I exited the station and headed for the taxi stand, shouts of Taxi! spoken with a different inflection flew like darts past me. French was everywhere; then it hit me: This is Paris.

A smile lit up my face as my taxi arrived. I chatted with the driver about work, football, and politics. Oui, je peux le faire! I can do this.

I didn’t let fear shackle me. I went wherever I wanted and never got lost even when I returned to the hotel past midnight.

My steps were uncertain as I walked into my first restaurant, solo. The hostess showed me to a table but as I waited for my server to arrive, I gave in to my fears and walked out. I laughed at myself as I walked away because I knew I’d have to face this fear. Two days later, I tried again. This time, I stayed. My waitress was friendly and by the end of the meal, I had made friends.

That first night in my hotel room by myself, I put the chair under the door handle for my peace of mind. It took a while before I slept but when I woke the next morning, I felt refreshed and ready to explore Paris.

I returned to London five days later, feeling a boost of confident I never had when I left. My solo travel had emboldened me in ways I couldn’t have envisioned. I don’t have another solo trip planned but I can’t wait to see what I’ll discover about myself on the next one.

 

 Loading InLinkz ...

Best of Travel 2011

Treasure Beach boats

Thanks to Michaela at Awe Inclusive for including me in Budget Travel Adventure’s Best of Travel 2011 and giving me an opportunity to look back on the best of my 2011 travel adventures.

Last year was another fabulous travel year for me. I visited London for the third time and Paris for the first time, though it was my second trip to France. So here’s my Best of Travel 2011 roundup —

Best Domestic Travel Destination: To me, Washington, DC is the best domestic travel destination because it has so much to offer. The National Mall, the White House, galleries and (free!) museums, theater (not as many as NYC but still good and good bargains), restaurants, festivals like the Folk Life Festival, the National Book Festival, etc. Whether you’re looking for history or entertainment, Washington DC is the best place to be and the best part? It’s compact – you can cover a lot of territory over a few days.

Jefferson Memorial, Washington DC

Jefferson Memorial, Washington DC

Best Travel Experience: I’ve been fascinated by Stonehenge since I saw a documentary about it several years ago and added it to my Must See List. As soon as I decided on the dates for my UK trip, I booked a tour. The best part was that the group was small enough so that we weren’t tripping over each other. We could go into the circle and get up close (but not touch) the monument. The tour also took us through the bucolic English countryside and Bath, a very historical and picturesque town.

Inside the circle, Stonehenge

Inside the circle at Stonehenge

Best International Destination: My best international destination for 2011 was, without question, Paris.  I love Paris – it’s all of the things we’ve heard, and more — romantic, picturesque, fashionable, etc., and though I felt a bit intimidated by the stories I’ve heard about Parisians looking down their noses at people dressed in jeans, I never felt out of place or slighted. In fact, I met quite a number of friendly Parisians. One night, I got talking to a waiter and when he found out where I was staying and that I was traveling alone — it was nearly 10 p.m. when I finished dinner — he called one of the waitresses who was taking the same train and told me to wait for her so we could travel together. Although I could have found my way back to the hotel on my own, I was very touched by his kindness.

Eiffel Tower

Eiffel Tower at night

Worst Travel Experience: My worst travel experience in 2011 happened before I even left my destination. I turned up at the airport to board my flight on Spirit Airlines and got a huge surprise. I owed $93 in baggage fees! I was so furious at myself for not paying attention to the fine print — I know better (or should) — that I forgot that I wanted to buy a few gifts in the duty free shop. The worst part is that on the return leg, I couldn’t figure out how to pre-pay and ended up paying again. Suddenly, the deal that I thought I had worked out to be one of the most expensive New York/Montego Bay tickets I’ve ever bought.

Most Embarrassing Travel Experience: Last year, my travel was embarrassment-free but 2010 wasn’t. I started to feel sick the day I was scheduled to return to the US from Johannesburg, South Africa. My body felt weak and I began to sweat. I didn’t know what was wrong – I didn’t think it was a cold but by the time I got on the flight, I was sneezing. I was so petrified of coughing that before I finished a cough drop, I’d pop another one. I felt awful. I still think of the people I know I passed my cold on to. Thanks goodness, it was a night flight so (hopefully) my no one remembers my face! The best part was, I was traveling with two friends who were also coming down with colds so I didn’t infect the people on either side of me. The worst part is, our row probably passed our colds on to everyone in coach.

Best Local Destination: Since I relocated from New York City to Jamaica last year, I’m going to take the liberty to name two best local destinations. In New York, the best location destination is Coney Island. It’s a place where you’ll find everyone – toddlers, young adults, couples, singles, grandparents – and there’s a variety of activities for everyone, from the hot dog eating contest over the July 4th weekend to summertime fireworks displays to roller coaster rides.

My best travel location in Jamaica is Treasure Beach. It’s laid back, it’s funky, it’s fun. It’s just a charming location that I’ve written about several times.

Treasure Beach boats

Treasure Beach boats

Best Travel Lesson: When I visited Paris last year, it was the first time that I traveled on my own to a place to a place where I didn’t know a soul and no one was meeting me when I arrived. Thank goodness, I know some French so I didn’t feel completely at sea. Interestingly enough, I was very excited the morning I left for Paris — it’s probably the most excited I’d been in a while about a trip. It turned out to be a very liberating experience and surprisingly, made me feel very grown up.

Now, I get the pleasure of inviting the following 5 bloggers to write about their Best of Travel 2011.

Travel Photo Thursday: Chatelet Metro Station

Entrance to Chatelet Metro Station, Paris
Entrance to Chatelet Metro Station, Paris

Entrance to Châtelet Metro Station, Paris

 

This is my submission to this week’s Budget Travelers Sandbox Travel Photo Thursday series. Be sure to check out other photo and story entries on their website!

Weekly Photo Challenge – Entrance

Entrance, Buckingham Palace

I have so many photos of entrances, especially those to churches, I had a hard time deciding which ones to include.

Entrances can be opulent, functional or rudimentary. Either way, it’s one detail that tells us a great deal. See what you think.

Entrance, Buckingham Palace

Entrance, Buckingham Palace

Entrance, Paris

Entrance, Paris

Entrance, Union of Writers, Havana

Entrance, Havana

 Entrance, Chatelet Metro, Paris

Entrance, Chatelet Metro, Paris

 

Entrance, Jamaica

Entrance, Jamaica

Entrance, The Pierre Hotel

Entrance, The Pierre Hotel, NY

Enjoy!